Words on Wednesday...grief and memories

I am a firm believer that often what we need comes to us. The holidays can be particularly challenging especially if you have lost loved ones.  Last year, I had come across a piece of art by Jennifer Orkin Lewis. Through the magic of google, I saw that she did the cover art on Passed and Present...Keeping the Memories of Loved Ones Alive by Allison Gilbert. Allison writes about the grieving process. She also wrote Always Too Soon: Voices of Support Who Have Lost Both Parents. I had not even considered a book of this sort, but finding them was a gift to ease the sadness of the holidays. I cannot recommend these books highly enough.

Onz also suggested that we make a Pinterest page where we could pin memories. Often if one of us is feeling lonely or nostalgic, we will pin something or look at the page. Just thinking about it evokes the memories of fun times we shared together. 

Emptying the family home has also been a challenge, despite the lack of clutter.  No overwhelming distraction of the enormity of the situation, it is right to the heart of the matter.  My dad lost his parents before he was 30; my mom's father died when she was 11, and her mother, Annie, died when mom was 39.  I have only seen one picture of Annie, taken when she was 66. This was her passport picture, her one and only visit to America. There are no other pictures of my grandparents, or any pictures of my parents until their wedding.The void that I have in my own personal history has made it even more important to try to carefully curate my parents' belongs, so that my kids have a memory and link to the wonderful grandparents that they had. 

As we do this difficult task, I have thought back to some of what Allison wrote about in her book, as well as the kind words of family and friends. My sister, family, and close friends have shared so much love and support. Being able to talk about my parents and the memories of growing up, especially with Nish, has been the source of so much comfort. As we go through my parent's belongings, we think of the significance of all the items, and the good times we associate with them. Together we can keep their memory alive, beyond the mementos. As we move forward, and emulate all of their wonderful qualities, I believe they are still with us and bringing goodness to the world.